Stressed out

Performance / Performancetext

2006

Zu sehen sind Lippen in Großaufnahme, zu hören ist eine weibliche Stimme, die in stakkatoartigem Ton Aussagen über das hektische Leben einer Frau im 21. Jahrhundert trifft. Das Weibliche fungiert hier wie in anderen Arbeiten Cibulkas lediglich als Platzhalter, als Projektionsfolie. Der Betrachter/die Betrachterin fühlt sich aufgefordert, das aus der Sicht der Künstlerin Dargestellte an die eigene Verfasstheit rückzukoppeln.
Entstanden ist „Stressed out“ in Anlehnung an die Performance “Waiting” aus dem Jahr 1972. In Form eines Monologs beschreibt die feministische Künstlerin Faith Wilding darin das gesamte Leben einer Frau als eintöniges Warten auf den Beginn des eigentlichen, sprich individuell gelebten Lebens. Hier artikulieren sich Cibulkas künstlerische Methoden der Adaption, der Übersetzung und Umdeutung. Eignete sich die Künstlerin für die oben beschriebenen Arbeiten unter Umkehrung der inhaltlichen Vorzeichen die formale Struktur Faith Wildings „Waiting“ an, so basieren weitere Projekte vielfach auf biografischen Versatzstücken anderer Personen, die Cibulka in einem der Collage ähnlichen Verfahren in neue Zusammenhänge überführt.

(Manisha Jothady)

Performance Text:
Katharina Cibulka, 2006 (original: “Waiting” from Faith Wilding, 1972)

Stressed out about choosing the right parents
Stressed out about being wanted
Stressed out about passing the birth canal
Stressed out about finding the breast, getting enough milk

Stressed out about crawling, walking, talking
Stressed out about wearing my first brand-name clothes: converse shoes, jaquadi hat
Stressed out about being a gifted child
Stressed out about wanting dolls, sweets, toys
Stressed out about not stepping into dog shit on the playground

Stressed out about going to school, passing exams
Stressed out about authority
Stressed out about getting my shit together
Stressed out about not knowing what to want, what to choose
Stressed out about seeing my motivation trainer

Stressed out about my body developing in time
Stressed out about my pimples not going away
Stressed out about being independent, cool, anarchistic
Stressed out about not knowing why

Stressed out about doing forbidden things
Stressed out about pushing boundaries
Stressed out about accepting my parents
Stressed out about fighting them

Stressed out about going to parties, staying out late
Stressed out about smoking, drinking, taking drugs
Stressed out about trading Ecstasy for reality
Stressed out about suddenly being somebody
Stressed out about my first time
Stressed out about not getting pregnant

Stressed out about finding a good partner, a good job, a good therapist
Stressed out about having good sex, having an orgasm, staying faithful
Stressed out about AIDS
Stressed out about family planning
Stressed out about giving up my career
Stressed out about deciding whether to get pregnant
Stressed out about choosing with whom to get pregnant
Stressed out about the first scream

Stressed out about taking the first picture of my baby, receiving congratulation calls
Stressed out about the emotional rollercoaster
Stressed out about my baby crying, about not having enough sleep
Stressed out about fighting too much with my partner
Stressed out about finding somebody to take care of my baby
Stressed out about going back to work

Stressed out about being successful in my job
Stressed out by my cell phone ringing all the time
Stressed out by deadlines, appointments, meetings
Stressed out about meeting my personal coach
Stressed out about not losing control

Stressed out about being a good mother, a good partner, a good lover
Stressed out about seeing my children grow up too fast
Stressed out about multitasking
Stressed out about quitting smoking again
Stressed out about getting a Botox injection
Stressed out about being driven by my lifestyle
Stressed out about having fun, fun, fun

Stressed out about the silence between me and my partner
Stressed out about never being asked how I feel
Stressed out about being left for a younger woman
Stressed out about being mobbed at work

Stressed out about my children growing up, leaving home
Stressed out about accepting them how they are
Stressed out about divorcing my partner, finding a new one
Stressed out about leaving for wellness-vacation
Stressed out about being stuck in traffic jams
Stressed out about receiving millions of spam-mails a day
Stressed out about the life of my soap opera star
Stressed out about all the shopping bags I´ m carrying home
Stressed out about always buying the newest of the newest
Stressed out about never having enough money

Stressed out about chatting with my online lover
Stressed out about not feeling enough excitement
Stressed out about being myself, fulfilling my dreams
Stressed out about burning out
Stressed out about staying sexy
Stressed out about having plastic surgery
Stressed out about seeing my children marry and divorce

Stressed out about retiring
Stressed out about becoming useless
Stressed out about finding the right guru
Stressed out about waiting for my children to visit or call
Stressed out about feeling my body breaking down
Stressed out about being alone

Stressed out about realizing that I haven’t lived life to the fullest
Stressed out about getting sick
Stressed out about looking in the mirror
Stressed out about keeping my things together
Stressed out about the voices in my head

Stressed out about feeling that the pain won’t go away
Stressed out about making peace
Stressed out about waiting for release
Stressed out about not knowing what comes afterwards
Stressed out about waiting for sleep
Stressed out about waiting for death